I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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