I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i now understand why vodka
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
