Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize