WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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