Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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