And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
