Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
