ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
