it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
