please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
