I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All I want is dick and wine.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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