I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
