Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
