I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My ass is underappreciated
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
