He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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