just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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