Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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