Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
