I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
