I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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