yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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