Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize