i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
they call him Oral-B. enough said
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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