I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
