uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
