I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
