I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
