Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
