I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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