he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
