return my video game
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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