Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
