Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
