one might say we're banned from that church
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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