So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
third nipple confirmed
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
His nipple licking is glorious
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