accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
