Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
even my farts smell like vagina
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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