Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize