New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
