school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
