In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
