i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
