Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
