I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
