Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
