I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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