Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
