My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
