anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
