he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Come on in and take your pants off
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