just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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