need another drink. this is the easiest way
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
