she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
