Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
