I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
