So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
