She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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