nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
