new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
