I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
