Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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