You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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