I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
