i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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