he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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