Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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