i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
