I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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