it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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