Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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